The Estranged
by The Official Girl Wonder
Summary: "Gohan started to tremble. He'd seen it too many times. He wanted so badly to cry. To admit defeat and become the child he'd never allowed himself to be...But he would not cry in front of the very man who'd taught him pride. He would clutch onto that pride. He'd take it to the grave...So, instead of crying, he just trembled more violently."


**The Estranged**

**AU: Chi-Chi's dead, so Gohan and Goten live at Capsule Corps.**

**This was originally going to be the start of a multi-chaptered story, but I realized that I had no plan for where it was going. I decided to post this as a one-shot. (I seem to specialize in those...)**

**Disclaimer: I do not own DBZ, no matter how much I may fantasize.**

A scream cut through the night.

The young man sat up and panted heavily. Sweat soaked his shirt.

Once the monsters became shadows again, he calmed down a bit and suddenly noticed another person's presence. His brother watched him with hesitant eyes.

"Are you okay?" the child asked.

He didn't answer. He just stared at the boy who so resembled his father.

"Gohan?"

His name seemed to reintroduce reality. Smiling, Gohan stood up. "I'm fine squirt. Thanks."

Two brothers waited for the tense silence to loosen. Then, Goten yawned and broke the spell.

"Go back to sleep."

"No," Goten responded with defiance, or as much defiance as one can muster when half-asleep, "I'm staying up with you."

"What makes you think I'm staying up?"

"That's what you always do when you have bad dreams."

Gohan sighed, considered his options, and spoke up again after a moment of thought.

"If you don't go back to sleep, I'm taking all the food at breakfast tomorrow."

_Today, actually_, he corrected himself as he watched the numbers 4:23 flash across their alarm clock's screen.

Goten gave a small gasp. "You wouldn't do that."

"Oh, but I would," Gohan assured him with a wicked smile.

For the demi-saiyans, food was a matter of life and death…or rather, hungry and uncomfortably more hungry.

Goten glared at his older brother, knowing he'd lost, and lay back down. "Fine."

"Thanks, bro," Gohan said. He hated waking Goten with his night terrors almost as much as he hated the visions themselves.

As Gohan opened the window to leave, Goten spoke again, so softly that the question almost wasn't heard.

"What do you dream about?"

A statue stood with one foot on the windowsill and its hands on the panes. After what seemed like an eternity to Goten, the figure released a deep sigh and became his troubled and exhausted sibling once more.

"Bad things, Ten…Maybe I'll explain later."

Goten nodded. He always received the same answer, but he could never stop wondering. The seven-year old turned away from the window and closed his eyes, never bothering to look back.

He knew that Gohan was already gone.

Gohan was a being of uncertainty. People didn't understand the young man who acted wise beyond his years. And the boy who'd seen and learned so much still didn't quite know himself.

A stranger is one who is unknown by his surroundings. But what is a person who knows his surroundings and is known by them, but doesn't know himself?

More estranged than a stranger?

Or an empty vessel, still waiting to be filled with life? Still just going through the motions...

Gohan lowered himself to the ground between a shallow stream and an oak tree. He'd contemplated these things far too long not to have answers. It frustrated him.

It burned him.

He knew that the heat had to come from his emotions because the sun still hadn't shown its first rays. The sun mocked him, saying, "The night is still. I've yet to announce dawn, and everyone is sleeping in peace. But you can't do the same can you? Too occupied with paranoia and guilt-"

He stopped listening. He knew that if he started berating himself now, he'd be even more of a wreck when he returned home. His brother didn't need to deal with that. The sun's taunts would not disturb him today.

_Besides_, he remembered, _The sun can't talk._

And so, the estranged went back home with a smile on his face.

Smiles are such useful, pretty things...like the design on a flower vase.

When people see an elaborate flower vase, they say, "Oh, it's so beautiful! What a clever design!"

And they easily forget that it has no flowers.

"It's okay. Empty vessels are still quite pretty on the outside. That's all we care about."

* * *

_Please don't let him sense me….Please don't let him sense me…_

He repeated the thought like a mantra as he flew up to his bedroom window at Capsule Corp. He opened it with the utmost care and held his breath.

_So far so good._

He stepped in.

_Right foot…Left foot._

He looked around.

_Darkness…No shapes._

He reached out with his ki.

_Goten..._

His brother still slept.

_…Vegeta! Darn it!_

"Boy," the man said, sharply enough to unnerve Gohan and softly enough not to wake Goten.

Gohan almost growled. _Stupid prince. Why can't he just ignore me?_

"Yeah?"

"Where were you?"

"None of your business."

"You left my house in the middle of the night. That makes it my business."

The teen walked over to stand in front of Vegeta. His relationship with this man was a complicated one at best. Respect, loyalty, annoyance, the occasional urge to kill each other…and perhaps something akin to a familial bond existed between them. Vegeta wasn't Gohan's father…but he did more than his actual father ever had.

Even now, he was actually worried about him. The Prince of All Saiyans. The pompous, cold-blooded epitome of arrogance…He actually deigned to concern himself with the half-breed son of a third-class warrior.

Gohan never understood why.

"Funny. I thought it was Bulma's place," he said, hoping his little jab at Vegeta's pride would get him out of explaining.

"You had another of your dreams, didn't you?"

_How does he always know?_

They stood in the dark. Eventually, Gohan sighed.

Slowly, the mask fell.

"…I failed again…It was the Cell Games. I saw myself…lose control. Dad lost his life to Cell again, but before he did...he asked me why I had to be such a horrible son. He asked me why I killed him."

"Boy-"

"And then, I was in a cemetery, with bodies littered around it. You, Goten, Bulma, Trunks, Piccolo, Krillin, Mirai…even Marron…Everyone was dead. Bodies strewn everywhere…There was so much blood…"

"Brat-"

"That's not even the worst part. I…Then I saw Mom."

Vegeta raised an eyebrow at this. Gohan had never told him about seeing his mother in his nightmares before.

"She looked like a ghost. It was pretty creepy…She asked me who I thought I was…That I should be able to cause so much pain and get away with it…And then I woke up."

Gohan started to tremble. He'd seen it too many times. He wanted so badly to cry. To admit defeat and become the child he'd never allowed himself to be.

But he would not cry in front of the very man who'd taught him pride. He would clutch onto that pride. He'd take it to the grave.

So, instead of crying, he just trembled more violently.

Vegeta watched all this. Even in the dark, he could see the struggle taking hold of the teenager's mind. Pride vs. comfort. Strength vs. weakness.

Temporary victory vs. eternal failure. Because Gohan would perceive letting his guard down once as an eternal failure. It was just who he'd grown to be.

"Brat, it's late. Go back to sleep."

"…You know I can't." His voice was so soft and frightened and utterly unlike it was when the conversation started.

Vegeta hesitated. He always hesitated with these gestures. They were so meaningless to him, and yet they seemed to make such an impact on the three boys to whom he gave them. With the exception of Bulma, the only ones he would soften his gaze towards were Trunks, Gohan, and Goten. They'd wormed their way into his heart and become his boys, though only one actually was.

_Pathetic brats. They're manipulating me. I told the onna not to let them live here._

Vegeta put his thoughts back to the task at hand. After all, The Prince of All Saiyans did not hesitate, even when it came to pointless acts like this.

He placed a hand on Gohan's shoulder.

That was all it took. The understanding forged between the two of them over the past seven years was communicated with that gesture. They spoke through the odd little bond they shared.

A Saiyan bond.

Vegeta saying that he would be there. Gohan saying he would accept the help.

The prince removed his hand, and the two were back to normal. Like nothing had happened.

"Now, go back to bed. I won't say it another time. The _onna_ will blame me for your being awake now."

"Well, then maybe you should stop holding me up."

Vegeta grunted and left the room, but not before looking back at Gohan once.

Gohan nodded, and smirked, knowing how uncomfortable Vegeta was with expressing rolled his eyes and went to the GR for an early warm-up.

Gohan crawled back into bed beside Goten.

_I don't know why he insists I go back to bed. I'm not going to fall asleep now. It just won't happen._

An hour later, the exhaustion overtook him, and Gohan was fast asleep.

But Goten wasn't.

_So that's what Gohan dreams about._

**...So, how's that for my first DBZ story?**

**Review please!**


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